Another week, done

This week's lessons were real killers.  Strike that - this week's Simultaneous lessons were real killers.  I continue to have the hardest time hearing what the heck some of the speakers are saying, due to the muffled sound and background buzzing.  What made it even harder this week is that the guy talked at 90 miles a minute.  It was only 145 wpm, but it was enough to send me reeling into what has apparently become my characteristic Spanish study mode: per J, I sit, grouchily, in front of my laptop at the kitchen table, mumbling "mmm, nnm, am, namumm," then burst out, "Shut up!  Shut UP!" and start jamming the pause key.

My appointments this week were a mixture of school and medical; I was thankful for the medical appointments, as I feel most satisfied with the outcome of those.  At times I consider putting my legal interpreting stuff on hold so I can pursue my CCHI (Certification Commission for Healthcare Interpreters) or IMIA (International Medical Interpreters Association) certificate first.  Unfortunately, the money is in the legal interpreting arena, and due to the immature/bureaucratic spending practices of a large local medical facility who shall remain nameless, my chances of making a living doing purely medical interpreting are slim to none.

And so I pursue bilingualism in legalese.  I'm getting there.  Next week I plan to sit in on some more court proceedings to absorb the common lingo and get used to procedures.

How to Make Crack Cocaine

I've been learning about different equipment used for making/processing a variety of drugs and the equipment's translations, so I figured I should do a little research.

Here's one step-by-step how-to:
How to Make Crack Cocaine

I still have a lot to learn.

The Bad Words

Just because I haven't posted anything in the last few days doesn't mean I haven't been studying.  Quite the contrary!  I received a belated prize from J earlier last week for completion of the previous week's study goals: new earbuds, as my $5 Hello Kitty ones from Target were on the fritz.  And Sunday I received last week's prize: a package of Twizzlers, which is now almost gone.  A little disgusting, since it's only Tuesday.

"Consecutive Lesson 12: Murder Witness" sounds more exciting than it is, for the most part.  Things like how many drinks were consumed and where illumination of the living room was coming from; stuff like that.  HOWEVER! at the end, the witness repeats some statements she recalls hearing from the defendant.  And I learned some new ways to say some words that I probably otherwise won't get a chance to use.

• Buey (in the context of cheating on your spouse) should just be translated as "ox."  It doesn't have much punch; however, according to Acebo, it's best just to translate it for what it is and be ready to inform anyone who cares that this is a reference to cuckoldry.  And yes, I also had to look up "cuckoldry"; I am familiar with the term, but I didn't have a clue what word we use these days in place of this antiquated, flowery word.  Turns out all we say is "cheat" or "be unfaithful."  Sort of flat.  What I'd like to do is incorporate some more modern form of the word "cuckold" into the English translation of buey in order to capture the deceit aspect of, well, "ox."  Still drawing a blank.
• Puta is a tricky word, because - as is the case for so many Spanish words - you can translate it all sorts of ways.  It can mean anything from "bitch" to "whore" to "working girl" to "prostitute" to "M-F-er," to (as an adjective) "F-ing," "bloody," "appalling," or (sarcastically) "just great."  Well, a lot depends on context.
• "Streetwalker" - in English - means "prostitute."  Somewhere I missed that lesson.  And, in Spanish, the best way to say "streetwalker" in Spanish is callejera, which is a word I commonly used to describe my sister.  She liked to be out and about, at parties, with friends, and not nesting at home much.  Unfortunately, callejera must be recycled to mean "stray," "wanderer," and "out and about."  I often hear males describe themselves as callejeros, but I don't think I've ever heard women use that word to describe their social preferences.  Perhaps it's another one of those words that only the men can use without a sexual connotation (e.g. hombre de negocios).  So unfair.
• There are so many more, but last one for tonight: Eres mas puta que una gallina.  Literally, "you're more of a whore than a chicken [or, more specifically, a hen]."  Are chickens whores?  I have never thought of chickens' sexual behavior; it's an unsettling topic, because the only sex I ever saw chickens engage in was growing up, when I would see the mean rooster jump the timid hen, and, well, that was that.  Would I notice if a hen was slutty or acted with come-on mannerisms?  Was the timid hen actually a slut and I didn't know it?  What did the other hens think about or do?  Did they wish they were the timid ones getting jumped?  Do most people - or Hispanics, at least - think of chickens as highly sexual animals?  We have that thought about, say, rabbits, but that's because of their high litter yield.  I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to understand how the sexual tendencies of a chicken brought about this phrase.  This is where having a non-embarrassable Hispanic girlfriend would come in handy. 

Dolor Aquí

Nothing irritates me more than providers who don't speak in full sentences directly to their patients and instead elect to try out their pigeon Spanish.  How's this for a physical therapy initial evaluation?:

PROVIDER: Tell her she can sit on the mat or on the chair, whatever is most comfortable.
...
PROVIDER (addressing her laptop): Oh no, they didn't give me ICD-9 codes, did they?

INTERPRETER: ¿Ay no, me dieron códigos diagnósticos 9?

PROVIDER: Oh, I'm just talking to myself.
...
PROVIDER: Now, on a scale, um...zero to diez; zero is nada, diez is awful...
...
PROVIDER (helping through some PT exercises): Now...pies...aquí.  And...this...abajo...no, like this. (pushes patient's leg the other way)  And, diez.  (holds patient's leg in one position) Uno dos tres cuatro cinco seis seite ocho nueve diez.  Ok?  Dolor?

I ask myself, why am I here?  I also ask myself, why is the patient here?  The patient might be better served googling "leg pain" and staying at home.

I was also asked by the provider (during the session) if the interpreting company would send a "translator" (yeah, whatever) the day after Thanksgiving.  Will the company just shut down that day, or will they send someone?  Do they need to ask me when I'm available also?

First of all, I'm a contractor, not an employee, so any request for interpretation services is an assignment I can accept or decline.  Secondly, this is an interpreting agency that supplies medical interpreters to hospitals and clinics nationwide, so they're not just going to "shut down" for a holiday, much less for Black Friday.  Thirdly, this is like the second assignment that I've done with this company, so I have no idea how they distribute assignments or if they will even be chosen by this clinic as the interpreting agency of choice for any subsequent assignments.  Quit wasting the patient's time with side conversations.

Of course, this was all preceded by my usual pre-session spiel - please speak directly to the patient, and I repeat everything you say - and the provider's declaration that they were already familiar with using interpreters.  It is always preceded by this.  I regularly interrupt everyone to reiterate they should speak directly with the patient, and occasionally I end up interpreting their "tell him..." and "ask her..." phrases after the providers don't pay attention to my requests so the patient can judge for him/herself whether he/she is being addressed appropriately.  But this is still getting out of hand.  I need to develop more effective ways to limit the time-wasting and non-patient-focused crap that people throw into these appointments.  Ideas, anyone?

Stereotypes

Someday I want to sit down and write a list of all the funny and weird stereotypes I come across in our cultures.  It would include things like, elementary school teachers seem to throw the word "manipulatives" in as many special education discussions as possible.  And things like, please don't let the jock-looking person in the conference room say anything, because he's just going to mumble a bunch of baseball-related idioms
that don't contribute anything to the meeting anyway, even in English.  And things like, doctors say "Mmm-hmm" and start poking at their patients' ears and tongues before they even hear the translation of what the patient just said.  And things like, Mexicans seem much more concerned if their child is "behaving well" in school than whether they're flunking math.  And things like, Americans get nervous and start talking about rescheduling an appointment if the client hasn't arrived two minutes prior to the appointment time, whereas Hispanics aren't phased in the least if they arrive 15 minutes late and usually don't offer any explanation for their tardiness.

But, alas, real life (laundry and vacuuming) is calling my name, so my list will have to wait.

Everything You Wanted to Know about Fingerprints (in Spanish)

This whole thing about how you can't interpret what you don't understand sure is true.

"The major fingerprint patterns are known as arches, loops, and whorls, and they come in different variations, such as the plain arch, the double loop, etc."  (Simultaneous 12B: Examination of Fingerprint Expert).

Something called the Despacho AMIFO, which is a Mexican collect of different forensics experts dedicated to justice, has some nice videos on a variety of topics.  I just watched the one on Dactiloscopia (which can also be spelled/pronounced Dactiloscopía, but Dactiloscopia sin acento is preferred by RAE) and it is very good.

Hollow-Point Cartridges, Warheads, and Gothic Architecture

Yes, they do have something very much in common!: ogives.


Our friend Mr. Webster defines ogive below:

ogive

noun \ˈō-ˌjīv\

1

a :  a diagonal arch or rib across a Gothic vault

b :  a pointed arch

2

:  a graph of a cumulative distribution function or a cumulative frequency distribution 

So there you have it.

In case you're still scratching your head: in Spanish, one of the word choices to describe cartridges' noses (pointed, flat, or hollowed out) is ojiva, which quite literally refers to that shape of two arches which intersect and form a point (or rounded point, or hollowed out point, etc.).  Ojiva is also another term for warhead, again because of the shape.  Who knew that old Villard de Honnecourt in 12something was incorporating a word of such widespread and common use into the language.  Ha.

Word of the Day

verticilo. (Del lat. verticillus). 1. m. Bot. Conjunto de tres o más ramos, hojas, flores, pétalos u otros órganos, que están en un mismo plano alrededor de un tallo.

In English: whorl.

And why do we care?  Because the lady who mispronounces her "rr"s and doesn't speak up is droning on about them in Simultaneous 12A.  "Levantamiento de huellas dactilares," or fingerprinting.

I see another word that I don't know:
indubitado, da. (Del lat. indubitātus). 1. adj. Que no admite duda.

However, "dubitado" does not seem to be a word according to the Bible - ahem, I mean, according to the Real Academia España:
La palabra dubitado no está registrada en el Diccionario.

Tell that to Miss Mumbler.

Simultaneous 11B...Still

Last week was the first time in weeks and weeks that I did not finish my usual three lessons by Saturday.  It doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.  This is probably due to the fact that I know quite well there is no way I could have studied or retained any more than I did.

Still, my Acebo studies are on track to take me into the first week of February with possibly some additional simultaneous passages to practice with.  I am a little concerned as to how the various upcoming holidays will throw off my study schedule, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I'm having a hard time getting my Motion to Suppress - Points and Authorities lesson spat out in time.  It's at 145 words per minute, but it's full of crappy abbreviations and numbers.  I've always been slow at numbers.

"Your Honor, the Prosecution has offered evidence that was obtained in violation of the defendant's constitutional rights and we are therefore asking that it be suppressed under Section 1538.5.  In facts very similar to those of People vs. Hargrave, Cal App. 3d vol. 212 page 1398, the Court heard the testimony of Officer Gerard...."  "Two cases on that are People vs. Perez, a 1989 at 211 Cal Appellate 3d page 1491, and People vs. Lopez, also a 1989 decision at volume 212 Cal Appellate 3d page 289."

I think it's unfair that in English you can say, for 1398, "thirteen ninety-eight," whereas in Spanish you have to say "one thousand three hundred ninety-eight" - which in Spanish is even more syllables than this.  Someone should make a rule that you can't cheat on numbers in English if it is being interpreted.

The Politics and Ethics of Interpreting, Part I

I call this "Part I" because I'm supposed to be studying, and I know I don't have the time to organize my thoughts sufficiently in one blog session to deal sufficiently with the ins and outs of this weird field.

Here's a little background: most of my interpreting opportunities come to me as a contract interpreter.  (For some, I am listed as an employee of the entity requiring the interpretation services.  An example of one of the employer requesters is a local school system; they find it more economical to call us interpreters part-time employees, similar to the way they track and pay their substitute teachers.)  Of the entities for which I provide contract interpreter services, almost all are interpreting agencies.

Now, these interpreting agencies vary widely in the training requirements for interpreters, in their need for a signed contract, in the existence of a non-compete agreement, and in the way they do business out and about in the community.  For example, one agency required that I take (and pass) a language assessment in English and Spanish before I could submit an application with proof of medical interpreter training and then take (and pass) their own interpreter entrance exam.  After that, I was required to undergo hours of interpreter and agency-specific training before being assigned any jobs.  On the other side of the spectrum, one agency found out about me through a friend who did interpreting on the side; he couldn't help them out, so in a pinch they called me.  Ever since, when they need interpreting services, they send me a text message asking about my availability.  No W-9, photo ID, nothing.  Most of the other agencies fall somewhere in the middle.

So, depending on the situation, it's quite possible that I interpret in one setting - say, the local hospital - but could be sent there by one of several different agencies.  It depends on if the hospital itself called me in directly as a contractor with them, to help with the in-house interpreters' overload; or if the local interpreting agency was contacted to help the hospital with the in-house interpreters' overload; or if the visit is related to a workers compensation claim; or if there is a state-funded insurance company who is covering the cost of the interpreting services.  I have a small makeup bag in my purse with my nametags.  There are about 8 of them.

Sometimes, after the interpreting session, the doctor/social worker/school administrator/whoever I'm interpreting for asks me, "If we want to get hold of you directly for interpreting in the future, how can we do that?"  That is a good question.  They might be able to use my services under like three different vendors.  Some might pay me way better than others.  I have signed non-compete agreements with some.  Or even if there's no non-compete agreement, I might be shooting myself in the foot with one agency if I suggest that the clinic/school/etc. switch to a different one while still interpreting for the same client.  But would they ever know?  What sort of contracts have these organizations signed with interpreting agencies?  I am aware of one interpreting agency whose manager believes that their contracts with some schools/clinics/etc. are exclusive, but I know this to be not true, as I myself often show up wearing ID badges from agencies other this manager's agency.  I don't have the heart to tell the manager about this, especially because I can't possibly think of what good it would do to stir the pot and mention that the exclusivity clause is being blatantly ignored.

There's also another interpreting agency that keeps sending me far, far away (over an hour from my home) for pretty simple appointments.  They pay handsomely.  My only issue is that these appointments are being paid for out of a state-funded insurance company.  And these appointments often take place in the middle of the nest of one of the biggest, most highly developed, and best interpreting networks in the region: the city of ___.  I often travel to ___ to receive interpreter continuing education and to network with fellow interpreters; and yes, it does bother me that our state is spending oodles on my transportation and time for a service that five more people just down the road can probably perform better than I can. 

So, as a good businesswoman (which I'm not, but it's a nice goal to have), I need to stop and think, "How can I earn more money and get more assignments, without compromising my ethics and values?"

This seems like a great place to stop Part I of "The Politics and Ethics of Interpreting" - especially because I have no idea how to answer the above question.

Simultaneous Lesson 11A

The man who recites Articles 191-196 of Ecuador's Penal Code (de los Delitos Contra la Inviolabilidad del Domicilio) talks like he has marshmallows in his mouth and is intermittently talking at different speeds to throw other off the track of his thoughts.  In flagrant rebellion, I am using my study time to listen to Stevie Wonder's "Don't You Worry Bout a Thing," which does not contain big words.  In fact, here is the last portion of the song's lyrics:

Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, pretty mama
'Cause I'll be standing in the wings
When you check it out
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Yeah
Bam bambam bambam bambam
Bambambambam bambambambam
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, sugar
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, sugar
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing

It's great.

The chords make up for any complexity lacking in the lyrics.  Try playing Em, Baug, Em7, A7, F7 all in one measure.

Review Day

Today is supposed to be review day, where I run through the three different lessons I chugged down over the week, speed up a little more in the simultaneous interpreting lesson, and generally goof off and do housecleaning while listening to the vocabulary recordings for good measure.  However, I didn't study much yesterday, so I'm still struggling big time with the simul lesson.  Good news, however; it appears that my text readability counter only considers this to be "college level entry - difficult," rather than last week's "college graduate - very difficult."

Yesterday when I was supposed to be studying, a variety of people kept emailing and calling me about the local schools' parent teacher conferences.  I had taken yesterday off, because I had thought I would be going out of town for something that didn't end up happening, and I was initially excited about a whole free day to play and study.  However, three schools had crises of different sorts: some parents wanted to cancel their conference last minute; some parents hadn't even been confirmed for their conference later that day; some parents hadn't been notified of their conference for Monday; one teacher wanted a letter translated into Spanish for passing out at her conferences later that day; and - this one is my favorite - some parents had sick kids diagnosed with strep and kept them home, so the school wanted me to call and make sure the parent or parents would still be attending the conference later that afternoon, and then they wanted me to call the family again to make sure they wouldn't be bringing their kids into the building for the conference and thus exposing everyone else to strep.  It was noon before I could get away from both my phone and computer, and this was only done by announcing that I would be unavailable for the rest of the day.  I know at least one of the schools was aware I was planning to be out of town yesterday.

Ah! job security.

Pasha the Porcupine

Instead of studying my Sight Text#10, which contains only three words I didn't know (hooray! finally I don't feel inadequate in one of these lessons), I played with my friend O, who told me about an experience she had recently helping interpret a remedial driver's ed class into Russian.  It was about six hours of simultaneous interpreting, and since she had moved to the US before getting her drivers license, she never learned driving and road safety terms in Russian.  She said it went pretty badly, with a lot of skipping parts to keep up, some pictionary sessions to illustrate car parts she didn't know how to say, and some of the Russians offering different terms or ideas for what the idea was that she was trying to communicate.  It sounded hilarious and terrible at the same time.  O isn't a trained interpreter, and this was just a nice offer she made to help out some folks who had already failed their driving exam several times, so the pressure for perfection just wasn't there, thankfully.

And we wrote and illustrated a children's story (see below), because what better activity could you possibly choose to do when you're avoiding homework?

C'est Fini!

Well!  I went to court this morning - grown-up court, not just Juvenile and Domestic Relations or intake hearings - and I lived to tell about it!

I arrived to the courthouse early and checked in with the Clerk's office.  When the ladies found out I was the interpreter, they made sure I got a voucher sheet - thank God, because that was precisely what I was worried about - and buzzed me through their little hallway into the courtroom.  Inside, the bailiff was alone, preparing for the unlocking of the main doors, and he seemed peeved that I had come in not only early but through the Members Only door.

It was easy to find the individual for whom I would be interpreting, because there were only about ten cases' worth of attendees.  That was helpful  - my other concern had been, how was I supposed to find the person if I couldn't make a general announcement and had to be all surreptitious and discreet?  So we sat there, waiting for court to be in session, and I watched the lawyers float from defendant to defendant, schmoozing with the old people and babies and chatting with the district attorney.  Everyone talked in hushed tones, the regular actors breezily, the special guests stiffly.  I again thought about how being in court is kind of like attending an old-timey church service in a congregation that has gone through the motions for decades: some would rather not be there, others are there because they think they ought to be, others can do the proceedings in their sleep, and all complete with the uncomfortable wood pews and the bad lighting and the rigidly fixed schedule.

The case for which I was interpreting (let's say it was an OR motion - release from custody of a defendant under his/her Own Recognizance) was the last one to be called.  Every now and then the judge or district attorney (DA) would interject, "We'll do the OR motion after the traffic case."  Or, "All that will be left after these is the OR motion."  So I had plenty of time to get nervous.  It reminded me of piano recitals when I was a kid.  You are sitting there, not able to enjoy anything going on around you, because you know soon it will be YOUR TURN and you will have to go up front.  And what if you have to go to the bathroom?  Or what if your nose is running and you didn't bring a tissue?  And what if something terrible happens and everyone just stares at you out of utter shock and horror?  Doom!   And then you think, well, I should try to relax because it will be a while.  And you look up at the ceiling, or pick at some lint on your pants, and then all of a sudden you gaze catches your name on the program in your lap and - gulp - it's back to speculating about pending doom again!  Or in my case this morning, the DA would keep saying, "Oh, and after this we'll do the OR motion" and then I'd be back to contemplating Interpreter Fail.

The case lasted a grand total of 10 minutes.  It was pretty ridiculous.  The judge heard what everyone said, then he said what he was going to do and told us to sit down while the paperwork got printed out.  Then it got printed out.  And that was that.

The voucher completion stumped both the clerk and the clerk's assistant, who told me (in what I thought was kind of a nasty tone) that if I have filled it out wrong, the office where the voucher gets sent to (the Office of the Executive Secretary) would be sure to let me know.

So, lessons learned:
1. Interpreting in court is essentially the same thing as any other interpreting I do anywhere else.  I repeat everything that is said, exactly as it is said, without adding, omitting, or changing anything, blah, blah.
2. Interpreting in court sure doesn't last long.  I like the idea of doing about 10 minutes of work and being remunerated for two hours.
3. There is little or nothing I can do to prepare for interpreting in court except for plugging away at my favorite blessed Acebo lessons, the joy of my life.  This week I'm working on Battered Wife, Expert Witness Testimony - Intoxylizer, and some sort of affidavit written in Spanish for the text translation lesson.

And today it's going to be 73 degrees and sunny outside...and here I am, parroting about digital display readings and the metabolism of alcohol...

Text Readability Consensus Calculator

For grins, I entered some of Acebo's Simultaneous Lesson 9B text into a Text Readability Consensus Calculator to see what level of education is required to digest its content.  The calculator that I used combines the results of multiple accepted formulas, including the SMOG index.

Results?

Readability Consensus

Based on 8 readability formulas, we have scored your text:

 Grade Level: 19

 Reading Level: very difficult to read.

 Reader's Age: College graduate

 And this is what a court interpreter is supposed to interpret simultaneously.  AND, the guy in Lesson 9B's recording is only reading the text at 140 words per minute!

I wonder if cocaine would be a good option for me, to incorporate both feelings of confidence and euphoria as well as high energy and speed in the execution of tasks.  And, the effects last only about an hour, which is a good amount of time for the typical hearing.  One thing to consider would be the numbing effects of cocaine - I'd have to give some thought as to the administration of the drug, so as not to numb my lips or tongue.  That would be counterproductive.  Maybe just plain old speed would do the trick.

Yikes - the real deal!

I just got a call from court asking for interpreting services next week!  Whoa!!!  This wasn't supposed to happen yet, not till next spring when I take my oral exam and get certified.  Up till now all I've done is some custody things in Juvenile and Domestic Relations and some intake hearings.  This is a real one - like, something somewhat criminal-related.  I'm terrified!  How to prepare?  - especially since this week's studying is not going fantastically.  (Last night I even made J read my texts to interpret out loud because the CD recordings were going to fast and anyway, as I told J, who looked at me strangely, the lady on the recording was stuck up and I didn't like her tone of disdain that she used with me.  Sigh...studies are not going so well...)

I'm going to write down all terms they could possibly use in the upcoming hearing, make fake proceedings, dialogues, testimony, objections, everything.

The other thing that worries me is the paperwork.  Somewhere I need to find a blank invoice form, find out the full name of the defendant, the case number, the proper billing rate, and where to turn in the completed invoice.  I remember in the orientation session for court interpreting we had a whole section on how to fill out those blasted forms because they were so complicated.  I forgot everything.  Let me check in my folder; maybe there's some good notes in there, maybe even an invoice I could use.

And now, back to studying Consecutive Lesson 6: Murder Defendant.  Did you know the term "homicidio calificado" is kind of like aggravated manslaughter, but cannot be squashed into a category such as 1st, 2nd or 3rd degree murder?  See WordReference's discussion on this.

Acebo Lesson 9: Frustration

I don’t know anyone who talks like this.  “de ser necesario,” “cualquiera que fuese su naturaleza,” “para la consecución de este fin,” “a la propuesta de la parte interesada,” “sin más requisito que poner la suma de dinero respectiva”…

Blah!

I don’t mind getting smarter and learning these things.  It’s just that, aside from my little textbook and my own little recordings to memorize the phrases, I don’t hear these terms anywhere else.  All my friends are, well, not sophisticated.  I don’t think they know what these words mean anyway.  I think if I broke out into this type of speech, I’d get the same reaction as Joe did in “Idiocracy”:

[silence]

FRITO: You talk like a fag.

Yup.

Nothing like that to keep me motivated!

I wrote all of the vocabulary from Simultaneous Lesson 9A last night in red Sharpie because I was mad.  It was invigorating.